18:40pm
I want to be left alone
my queue is on. bye..

 i hate my fat self, i hate everything about me, i need to lose more weight, need to lose 14lbs and then another and another, won’t stop, can’t stop,i promised myself..
i just hate this fat, i hate me so much, need to get rid of this fucking body, i won’t let myself down…again

I just found my autograph book from high school and everyone wrote in it and legit everyone wrote “you are THE most craziest weirdest person i know and i love your laugh and positivity” and some people also wrote “you reminded me that i can be myself without having to give a damn” those words make me cry, i miss high school, i want to go back and make everyone laugh and smile by jumping and screaming. no matter how depressed i was i just had my head held high. Now everyone says they miss the crazy me. I miss me more.

“you are such a beauty!! i’ve decided i want to be anorexic now that i’ve put on so much weight,[skips] i’ve seen your posts that you have anorexia and i was hoping you’d give me tips on how you’ve come to look like this, thanks gorgeous”

anorexia is a disease not a fucking  life choice you stupid fucking cunt-muppet

YOU WANT THIS EATING DISORDER YEAH?? YEAH?? HERE YOU GO HAVE MINE
you can have mine any fucking day cause i’d give up everything to not feel this way

not even going to name and shame you because i can’t be asked for bullshit.
don’t ask me stupid shit like that again

fuck you.

I have a craving to watch winnie the pooh so badly right now, cause he has a sad life… I can relate to him so much the way he wants his honey like i want my cookies he has a hard time getting it because of his weight is always in the way and he just wants to eat and i can empathise with him.. And how he tries so hard for things to be right and loves his friends.. he is so adorable and i loved him as a baby and i miss him as a teenager, come back winnie the pooh

I have a new blog where i anonymously post my feelings relative to my suffering, just so it doesn’t coincide with the posts i have on this blog.. If you want to check it out or follow leave me an ask and i’ll give you my url x

another 23lbs, dgaf

I just want you to remember that even for just a tiny thing, I am here to listen as I’m going through things myself, I actually do understand. Even if it’s to an extent, If you need to just vent or ask questions or just a random chat to take your mind off things I will give you that. I am quiet on my blog. I’ve chosen not to vent so much but that doesn’t mean I’m not here for you. I will always reply. x

• Nothing but Green Tea (x3)

:(

I’m a monster.. I can’t bare to even touch my body it’s horrendous, how can he touch me, how can he want to even look at me.. I feel so heavy and disgusting I don’t know why.. I just want bones.. I just want to feel defined and not be so drowned in something i hate so much. I’m tired of being fat. I’m tired of being a failure.. of not being in control of me.. I say this all the time but It always gets worse and nothing ever changes. I don’t want to feel this way. I want to be happy with me.. :(
I’m so terrified he’ll lose feelings for me, I’m just a monster

Didn’t have any of the prawns or fried chicken my mum made but i had viennese fox biscuit melts with green tea so that was 64 calories. Don’t need much else for the day…

don’t want to do this anymore i don’t want to be here anymore, i don’t want to try no more, i’m done, i’m done, i’m so tired, i can’t think i want peace, i need a peace of mind, let me please, let me let me, give me a break from life, let me come back at a good time, at a time where everythings alright, no more eating problems, no more insecurities, no more hurting, no more of anything I cannot control.

hold me

more than anything in the world,
I wish I could just never have been apart of myself