I’m a monster.. I can’t bare to even touch my body it’s horrendous, how can he touch me, how can he want to even look at me.. I feel so heavy and disgusting I don’t know why.. I just want bones.. I just want to feel defined and not be so drowned in something i hate so much. I’m tired of being fat. I’m tired of being a failure.. of not being in control of me.. I say this all the time but It always gets worse and nothing ever changes. I don’t want to feel this way. I want to be happy with me.. :(
I’m so terrified he’ll lose feelings for me, I’m just a monster